The postpartum journey has been tough. I won’t lie. At first I thought it would be easy to maintain the balance in my life I (almost) had, and it would be easier because I was conscious of it. I was wrong! With moving, changing jobs, and redefining who I am as a person all within a couple weeks, I became exhausted, and I still am. This past month I decided that things need to change. I need to become organized again, and I have to make a plan of action for finding the balance in life.
Phase One: Talk About It
I talked to my brother and friends, my husband, and a professional about the things I have been dealing with in the past few months. I know that what I’m experiencing is normal, but I won’t settle for the get over it, everyone woman who has had a child has dealt with it idea that is toxic for the women in our society.
Phase Two: Get Out
When I was first cleared to exercise, I was eager to get started at the gym again. I went to fitness classes 1-2 times per week, and although it wasn’t my normal pace, I was pleased with it. I floundered in January. I couldn’t pick myself up. I couldn’t stand to leave the house, and I would literally cry when I had to pack up the baby and hit the -45 degree road to work or dance practice.
I decided I wasn’t going to let this winter’s frigid temperatures, or the tricks of my hormones, deter me from exercising. A few weeks ago I started attending yoga, and this week I went to my first dance class in a few years. It was a confidence booster!
Phase Three: Organization
I have always been a messy person, but I’m working on it. I want to be cleaner and more organized in my private life. However, until my full-time job is party planning, interior decorating, and housekeeping, I will never be Martha Stuart.
With that being said, being conscious of where I place items or putting laundry away right away is something that I could achieve as long as I put my mind to it. I can have a clean home and lead a busy life if I have support and a plan.
Phase Four: Assertiveness
I have also always been a reserved person, and I care deeply about the feelings of other people. I am told to “be a bitch” about once per month. Do you know what? I’m not like that. That is not me. Yes, I could be more assertive at times with stating what I want, but I am unapologetically Me. My goal is to tell people what I want right away, and I don’t even have to be a bitch to do that. (Well, usually.)
Here are some tips for Postpartum Women
- You’re not weak.
- You can start to feel symptoms of postpartum “blues” or depression many months into your baby’s life.
- Be assertive and tell people that you need them to watch your kiddo(s) to do your own thing while you sew, go for a walk, take a class, watch a movie, read a book, et cetera.
- You’re awesome if you’re a stay-at-home mom.
- You’re awesome if you’re a part-time working mom.
- You’re awesome if you’re a full-time working mom.